What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 05:00
So whats the point in blame.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Would this be the day?
6 Foods You Should Eat More of After 60, According to Dietitians - EatingWell
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Scientists hooking flies on cocaine to study addiction: Reports - WKRN News 2
Especially a lifetime of it.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
D.C. Defenders win UFL title, 58-34 - NBC Sports
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
How did you as a human being change while growing up?
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Is it possible for buyers to negotiate after an inspection if the appraisal is lower than expected?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
When she asked me how she looked .
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Michaels buys Joann brand, plans to expand crafting supply to meet demand - ABC News
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Paul vs. Chavez Jr. Results: Live updates of the undercard and main event - MMA Fighting
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Was to survive, this bastard.
Voluptates qui qui deleniti laborum et sed corrupti.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
How did it feel when experiencing gay sex for the first?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I don,t even have a pension.
What is the most heartbreaking or sad love story that you ever had (experienced)?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Robinhood Traders Playing S&P Index-Guessing Game Get Schooled - Bloomberg
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Avalanche Signs Nelson - NHL.com
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I never cut or harmed myself..
What did i know ?
Mario Kart World 1.1.0 update out now, patch notes - Nintendo Everything
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
This is soul school!.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I was seconnd youngest,
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
So, i spoilt her more .
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He knew the spot.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
We all went to grammer schools
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I was 9 years of age.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I have no regrets .
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I was very sick at this time too.
My life is so biszare .
But ive been too sick for many years..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I said to her
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
It was going to be , some day.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I was scared of men, in general
One cannot live in the past .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
She found it foreign!.
Im still living with it.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
And i lived it daily.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
But, we were locked up after school.
My family never makes their pension either.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Comes on , in middle age.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
She wouldn,t have been !
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I think the readers, may guess!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
All the time i was locked up.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But it wasn’t much.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Ive learnt so much.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I waited trembling.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He resisted the act ,that day.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I will be 64.
We were not on the streets..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Who then, do I blame.?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
She was in good health!
(And it was in our own minds.)
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I couldn’t, believe it.
She loved him until the end.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Put me off passion for life!!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
She married twice! .
I write beautiful poetry .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.